Aliens

In the past hundred years or so, over 2 million americans have claimed that they were abducted by aliens... and thats a lot of people... which leads me to question why you extraterrestrial bastards keep bringing the Rednecks back? On the real, these guys cause us enough trouble without ET probing their cornholes for a sensual weekend then just dumping them back in the trailer park like nothing happened..

"mmmI Had A Nice Tiiimmmee... I'llll Phone Youuu...."

Imagine that... to the rest of the universe, are planet is nothing more then the set of a really bad alien dating reality television show... "Up Next On GLORP! The Extraterrestrial Entertainment Network... It's Analprobe A Homophobe! Followed By Cow Carcass Autopsy... space weather and news at 11..."

Cant stand the alien stuff.. its all just way to convent that none of these abducted in-bread retards ever got a video camera on them. For real, so its just this 'Good `ol Boy', kickin it with his fat old lady- drinking a Paps and Methadone smoothie... probably watching old VHS tapes of previously recorded Jerry Springer pay per view specials.. he almost swallows his Snuff Copenhagen when he belts out, "Holly Snipe Shit Baby!!! Did You See That?!?"

1. There's no windows on your doublewide trailer...
2. Im sorry but BillyBob-Jimbo-Wade-Hunter-...Smith, is not the most accredited source this side of the NathanDickson.

"I gotta go Investergate! ..and if what I find just so happens to be the most Amazerin discovery in existence... well, yall are just gonna have to take my goddamn word for it!"

Why don't we just give the fuckin goof ball a lie detector test? And don't be giving me that money shit.. because this is a real important subject.. the likes of which could change the very way we think act, and live... and my man Maurys makin it rain with the results! Im almost positive MoPo would hook it up... Flying saucers Giant triangles, my dude would be swabbin Ancient astronauts DNA, have em paying child support to some nasty latino bitch from Jersey City, like- "You Are the Father!"