[I Fear I May Risk Alienating My Female Counterparts With This One]

[Fuck It!]

[Just Remember Ladies... Its All In Good Fun...]

I love Beer... Does anyone else drink beer anymore?

[No you dont.. Stop lying...]

Its all those pink and purple Captain&Pomegranate CozmoTinis and shit. These mixed drinks now a days not only cost as much as a good 6pack of imports, but they taste like something a frilly homo that works at Jamba Juice would drink. Thats without mentioning the fact that their super strong, overly alcoholic concoctions specially designed to turn your Born Again Christian girlfriends into a Piss Drunk, Cock Craving, Slut Machines...

Which is what brings us to the term, "Girls Night Out". If your female ever tells you she's "Going out with the girls for drinks", simply Clear your throat, take a big deep breath ...and Scream at the top of you lungs, "Fucking Lier!!!" Tell the trick to Stop lying and just tell the truth... because we all know what she's gonna do.

"Your gonna drink half a LongIsland IcedTee, bum a cigarette and light it the wrong way, sing Ebony and Ivory with your token black friend at karaoke, and spend the rest of the night on your back, with a bunch of dudes i used to go to high school with and an HD FlipCam!"

And girls are the absolute worst because no matter what they wont admit to shit for months. But if and when the conniving skank does crack they always give you the same bullshit line, "I cant remember what happened!"

... Oh no worries sweetheart... Its all over the internet... I'll fill you in. There's an app for that! Trick Tracker! Slut Search!